This, that and some other stuff.

Most of the people I know aren't up to date on the happenings in my life. So I thought I would take the time to inform you all with a little photo blog. Enjoy.

This is my boyfriend Kyrre. (Pronounced Curry)He is wonderful.
I ended up saying goodbye to 180JV (a ministry I love dearly) To pursue the will of God for my life which at this point is in Portland Oregon.



I had many rockin adventures in Bend before I left.




Kyrre, Mason, Michelle and I went to Portland for my orientation. I sat in classes, they rode bikes. Michelle was just being awesome. It's her thing.


Kyrre left and moved to Bellingham to attend Western Washington University.


McMenamins.


Sometimes I like Trees.


And Double Blended Caramel Frappacinnos.AKA Grande Double Blended Glory...


:)


I miss my friend Whitney. We went camping together and I wish she was here in Portland with me.


Thats all for now Folks. Pictures of the beautiful city of Portland and my rockin campus soon to come. :)

My Plan...

My plan was to come to North Carolina and at night to upload my pictures and blog so that everyone can know what is going on in my life. Unfortunately my plan was shipwrecked when I relized I brought the wrong cord to the 'pine needle' state. So. No pictures for now but be expecting at least 4 new adventure stories WITH photo proof soon. :) I love you all. :)
Paige

The painful C-Monster

con·demn [kuhn-dem] –verb (used with object)
1. to express an unfavorable or adverse judgment on; indicate strong disapproval of; censure.
2. to pronounce to be guilty; sentence to punishment

MY God is powerful. He is big and wonderful and has everything under control all the time. Constantly. He is faithful, loving, kind, gracious..the list goes on and on. He is everything.
As a new Christian I did not completely understand the cross. (P.S. I don't think we ever will, fully) But as I grew into a follower of Jesus I continually was met with this idea that the cross was more than just a guy who died for me. You see. When we say Jesus died for my sins it leaves much unsaid and many minds inquiring as to what that MEANS. This leads me to something that I think I KNEW but never UNDERSTOOD. It's like Golf. I know what it IS. I just don't GET IT. The thing that God has been hi-lighting in my bible are verses that say who I am in Christ. Those verses lead me to the question, "HOW can I be this? How can I be this amazing creation in Christ? Look at me God." (As if He wasn't already) What He said in response hit me hard. "You can stand before me pure and beautiful, with NO condemnation because my Son died AS your sins." You see, Jesus was on the cross and in the 6 hours in which He was on the cross he actually became filled with our sins and died the very death that that sin brings. God cannot be near anything imperfect. HE IS PERFECT. So in that time on the cross His perfect Son was without Him because Jesus chose to die for us knowing that we would all benefit. He dies as our sin, we can now be blameless and without condemnation in front of God. This was all done with a price we didn't pay. Giving our lives to Christ was not the 'fee' to get this. It wasn't a package deal. Jesus did it knowing that some may never know Him out of choice or otherwise but He did it anyway. He was the price. How blessed are we?
So. Why open this blog with the word condemn? Simple. Because we don't have to go through it. There are times when we go through things and we may mess up. In these cases apologies need to happen and prayer and healing must take place. However, be careful how you deal with these situations because God will never point a finger and say, "I can't believe you did that! That was so STUPID!" Nope. He knew everything was going to happen and instead of saying "I'll show them!" He came prepared with the medicine to heal it and the comfort to let you sleep. Who are we that we deserve this? Well. We don't. We ARE however heirs with Christ and therefore God sees us worthy, only by His sacrifice, to sit in His presence and receive comfort from the most famous person ever. God. Jesus is the one who saved us from our own dumb decisions. If He is Lord of our lives than we need to walk in that and as condemnation comes to try and take over let Jesus come in and protect you from it. His grace is enough to cover you and anything that you may do, on purpose or in total pride or something you didn't know was holding you back. His grace is SO amazing. It's not earned, however. It is a gift. When it runs at you, receive it. If you hold onto condemnation, Grace cannot work in your life to the fullest extent. So let go of the painful C-Monster and grab onto grace. :)

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:1-2

No pictures. Just words. :)

The Big Escape...

There is a lot that has happened over the past few months. One thing that I did not blog about is the trip I took to Seattle in February. Now, for some of you this is no big deal but for me, a future ready, life seeking 18 year old who is looking forward to leaving the nest, it's huge. My parents let me travel form Bend, Oregon to Seattle, Washington with little supervision (you'll see in a minute why I say this) and stay there in a hotel room by myself and visit churches and have some independance. This is HUGE! Here are some pictures form my adventure.

Cassie went with me to guide and mentor me on the way to Seattle. She was on her way to visit her family. We stayed in Maupin on the 13th then drove in on the 14th.



This is the view from my car to Cassies. We had walkie talkies to communicate. And code names too but I don't remember them....something goofy, no doubt.



We sported shades and danced around Praising the Lord. Hey. David did it.


We stopped at a Starbucks, visited some old memories and had some delicious beverages for our Valentines day together. It was fantastic. This is Cassie by her vehicle.



Cool Artsy Shotttt.




and this is my with MY vehicle. (P.S. Driving stick shift in Seattle is not fun.)



So. We finally got to Seattle (Kirkland) and we got me all situated in my hotel room. I was ready to go to the church. Cassie left to go to see her family and, to be honest, I got a little pang in my stomache when she left me. She guided me up to a certain point then had to let me go. So. I was alone in Seattle, Washington and the first place I wanted to go was The City Church, Kirkland.

This is a look at part of the main sanctuary.



After meeting with students in the Generation Interns programme I decided to go to Generation Church (The City Church's youth group). The campus was very cool. It was in the University District in Seattle and the building was surrounded by frat houses. Isn't that how God does things? Jesus was just like a lot of the guys back in the day on the outside. This building was like all the others, I assure you. But it was plopped down in the middle of a bustling place, humble on the outside, revolutionary on the inside and certainly, as Jesus is with the local church, the hope of a city. The hope of the world.



2 things I found to be cool are this EXIT sign and the fact that The City Church has their own water bottles. :)





The next morning I was up bright and early to go to the Generation Interns classes and prayer. It was SO awesome. I met a ton of people who were all very nice and I got to spend time talking with people about the program. John Smith is Jay Smiths brother and the Uncle of Stephen, Alisha, Jesse and Lily Smith. He is very nice and super cool! I went by the Bucks on that early morning, too. (24 hour drive through, Praise the Lord.)



Next I drove to Mill Creek Washington (very pretty) to stay with my Aunt and Uncle. They were awesome to be around and I enjoyed spending time with them! (Danna and Diane, I LOVE YOU!)While I was there I got to go to my first concert (Matthew West, Tobey Mac and Jeremt Camp.) Very cool. Here are some pictures.
Matthew West.



Tobey Mac.




Jeremy Camp.




Me with Matthew West. He is very nice.



And to finish off there are som pictures of the trailor park I lived in for a few years when I was younger. I got locked into the pool bathrooms at the age of 3 and the fire department had to come get me out. I thought I could do it alone but the door was too heavy to open again and I couldn't turn the knob. My mom thought I had drowned. It was not good. And the Monkey bars...I got stuck up there. Once again, I thought I could do it alone. And there is a picture of Hood that I took coming home in the last stretch. I learned how to pump my own gas in Seattle too. Very cool. :)









It was an awesome trip and I enjoyed everything that happened. I went in knowing that God may not call me there and He did not, as it turns out. The biggest thing on this trip was not the time in Seattle or the craziness that took place there. It was the miracles that God did in the planning. The money that just dropped in my lap to go. The hotel rooms at a discounted price just because someone believed that God had a plan for me and that that plan included a trip to Seattle. It was awesome to have fellowship with Cassie and other, too. God is good and He loves to provide for us. I got a chance to reflect on this a lot. So, What am I doing after high school? I have some plans but I am allowing the Lord to direct my steps. Stay tooned and I will inform you as soon as I know. In the very inspirational words of Lindsay Parnell, "God wants His will for your life more than I want His will for my life and if we have a heart that is cultivated around Him and His will we won't miss the mark." God is good. I believe that. He provides. He loves. He is. :) Talk to you soon!

3 Things I learned in 30 days

It's been SO long. How is everyone doing? An update on my life? Well, there have been plenty of events, some pleasant and others not so much but thanks to the Grace of God and His incredible strength we have begun to scale UP the mountain that stood mocking me and ya know what? With every step the mountin seems to get smaller and smaller. Sometimes I have to climb (out of bed at 1am to pray) and sometimes I run on the less steep parts (this is usually when I trip on a rock because I get ahead of myself) and everytime I fall or slip my Savior is there and He catches me! The last few months have been a huge reminder of a few things.
1. I CANNOT DO IT ON MY OWN! That is a huge thing. Sometimes I get so comfortable in God and things are going great and I say every morning, "God, I can't do this alone." But then He asks me, "Why are you trying then?" At first He whispered it. Then He said it a little louder but I couldn't hear because my music was up too loud. Then He screamed it loudly. But the funny thing is this. God did not scream it loudly while my music was on or while I was waiting for people to come meet me or while I was pounding the keys...No. He screamed it in the most serene silence there ever was. And SO! I learned once again that I cannot do it on my own.
2. I learned that love is not words. Love is not even necessarily actions. Sometimes it is. A lot of times it is. Shoveling your neighbors driveway. Taking out the trash even though it's not your day. Giving a Vet a hot meal. The list goes on. But something that I learned was that love is faith. Love is praying. Love is waiting. Love is believing. In you. In the other person. In God. My mom doesn't tell me every day that she loves me. But I know she does. And here we have God who tells us He loves us in crazy ways all day. This morning He said, "Hey. I made the sun rise for you today. I knew you'd be up early. I love you."
3. No matter how hard the hardest thing is it is not too much for God. Is God so small that He can't change the course of our lives while we are living it? Is God so small that He can't deal with the stress? Is God so small that He can't grab onto or tired, hurting, painfilled, bruised, exhausted bodies and carry us? He does it every day. Pray and ask Him to show you when He carried you. He does it for us. He never gives us more than we can handle. He is a GOOD GOD! :)

Last but not least. I went to Prom. It was fantastic. I went with Jordan Wolfe. We had a BLAST! Cassie was out photographer and chaperone. She was amazing. We love her SO VERY MUCH! Here is a picture or two. :)

Isn't it funny....

OK! Hello and I've missed you. Wow. Life has been crazzzy this past few months. I have just been going non stop and so spring break was much needed even though I worked a lot more than normal but hey...God is good. I'm doing track. I'm running distance (ouch BTW) and I am going to attempt the Long jump on monday. Woo hoo. Glory. we'll see what kinda hops the Lord gives me. I am currently in the midst of just waiting on the Lord which is good and hard but good all the same. I am working at the GAP still and I've found that the Lord speaks on the sales floor. Who woulda thunk it? I remember being at the front of the store after I had just started my job and I remember hearing God say, ever so softly but clear as day that I would not be there long. And I don't know how long long is but we will see with that too. I'd like to have a job as a nanny or an administrative assistant or something. They would be cool but I think the Lord will have me there for a while longer. It's going to be awesome. Somuchis coming up in the next few months like track meets, sisters bridal shower. SAT's. Prom. Sisters wedding and then. finally. the moment we've all been waiting for. GRADUATION! AH! but for now I am going to go to sleep. God is good. Diacogiannis sisters and brothers...I love you. night.

Steen Mountains Running Camp. Amazing.

And with great power the apostles gave witness to the ressurection of the Lord Jesus. And great grace was upon them all. Acts 4:33 (NKJV)

As I was at my moms house the other day i smelled something rather distinct. This smell was the smell of smoke because my mom is a smoker. The thing that I have always noticed about smoke is that you can tell what it is weather someone was smoking at that point or not, you could smell it. In their clothes, hair, fingers, house, car...you name it. You just KNOW if someone has been smoking. Now, Smoke is something that we can get rid of but it takes cleansing, washing and purifying to get rid of the lingering smell but also, to prevent it from coming back you have to kick the habit. As I was doing my devotions today, I thought about this as I came across a scripture that talks about GRACE. Woah. What a word. 5 letters, infinate oppertunities to experience it and give it out. I started also thinking about Gods grace and how we feel when we sin, no matter how big or small. We feel bad, to say the least. We also feel bad when we dont' stand for the truth. I know I do. Sometimes I look back and say "That was and oppertunity and I missed it." Grace. Jesus is really cool did you know that? In the New Testament he is really good friends with a guy named Peter. When Jesus was going to go to the Cross this is what happened;
Then He said, "I tell you, Peter, the rooster shall not crow this day before you will deny three times that you know Me." Luke 22:34 (NKJV)

and Peter says "No I won't ever deny you. I love you." It is my belief that Peter really believed that he was not going to deny Jesus. Well...He did. THIS is the part that caught my attention. Peter was upset and he wept. Jesus died on the cross and Peter was not there. He had left. But then Jesus rose again. I used to look at this passage and forget that there was a word over Peters life. One of such great magnitude that it could not be denied or hidden away;

"And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it." Matthew 16:18 (NKJV)

THAT IS A WORD, my friends. Jesus knew what was going to happen on Peters part (denying Jesus) but Peter didn't embrace right away what Jesus was doing on His part and what Jesus was doing is Grace. It's love and forgiveness even when we don't deserve it. Now. Sin is something that we tend to let linger in our lives. We let it keep pounding us down even if we aren't doing it. We are thinking about it and the pain it caused. We keep feeling bad about it and comparing out sin to others sin. This is not easy to deal with. I KNOW! Trust me. But check this out. Jesus does grace like no other so that we can experience it and give it out. Same deal with forgiveness. We just have to accept it! Jesus said he was building His church in Peter who had denied Him 3 TIMES and He did build His church on Him but Peter had to embrace the grace and love and forgiveness of Christ and press on leaving everything else behind! Lets see what happens is our story:

And believers were increasingly added to the Lord, multitudes of both men and women, (15) so that they brought the sick out into the streets and laid them on beds and couches, that at least the shadow of Peter passing by might fall on some of them. Acts 5:14-15 (NKJV)

Just the shadow of a man who loved the Lord with his all. You see, Sin is just like smoke. It will grab onto you and make you smell. It will linger in your home and car and hair and life unless you KICK IT OUT and go through the cleansing process. His name is Jesus. He died for us and that is so awesome. When it says in the bible we are cleansed it means it. That is truth. Are we going to embrace it though? Are we going to grab onto it and run with it? My friends the reason tht I bring this up is because I am currently learing it. I haven't yet grabbed ahold of it really. But I am trying because God is so awesome. Is Gods grace not big enough to take us over and cleanse us? Is He too small to help us to walk out a life of righteousness and to help us get rid of that? Does he not have enough grace for us? If he could build His church on Peter, who denied Him could He not then use us for His will? Think about it. :)

?Questionable Behavior...

"Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every moment you believe to be the will of God." -Jim Elliot

There is something amazing about this quote. This was spoken by a man who was so in love with God that he put a relationship with the one girl he ever loved on the back burner and dove head first into missions work. 5 years of corrisponding with this beautiful woman about what God was doing and how he was feeling about everything. Not only could they not be together, they weren't even near eachother. He was a missionary fulfilling the call of God. He said to live to the hilt. The maximum. The most. The best. All of it. Live it to the HILT if you believe it to be the will of God and embrace it.

God is in everything. He's in us. The earth. The UNIVERSE. Every situation and call. Every decision and season of our life. He touches the trees and they come back to life with leaves and blossoms of elegance. He looks at us, His children, with love and He is not afraid to care for us the way He does. He makes every day new. Always. It's NEVER just the same old day.

This has been my struggle. Embracing His will for my life even when it seems like I'm not doing much. I'm in high school. I've been in school for the majority of my life knowing that from September to June of every year I would have it all planned out and know what was going on. I always knew school would be there. And (sometimes unfortunatly) it is...almost every monday through friday...I wrote a previous post about decisions and making them. Now I'm thinking about these quiet moments and embracing them. You see. I've been questioning God a LOT lately. "What's your will?" "How will I...?" "What will I..." (I KNOW you know this one:) "Who will I marry?" Questions about boys and a prom date. Questions about what to do and when can I go? Those questions. This is the conclusion I have made. Now People can tell you all day long "Who by worrying can add another say to His Life?" "Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself." "It's all in God's perfect timeing." Good stuff to say. :) But sometimes I have to walk through things to really understand why people say things like that. You see. God really is Good. He really does have a plan and it will come to pass. Then it will be memories. Testimonies. Joy and pain past. I have had to stop myself and say a quick prayer because, really, when it comes down to it we tend to miss those moments. We spend such a crazy amount of time looking for the big moments that will rock our socks off or change us forever that we don't take the time to admire the small ones. Example: When you are in a relationship with a boy or a girl and they do something like look into your eyes...or the way they talk to children and things like that you admire it. The small stuff. The little moments. Why then, can we not admire the small moments with God in our lives? Because regardless of the moments magnitude is it not still God's will? Why then, has it become so hard to relax in His arms in the quiet? Why do we feel far from God when we aren't doing something big like a missions trip or making big decisions? Why can we not just admire the grass that He made or the fact that the sunset was gorgeous and He knew you'd love it? You see. Something got mixed up somewhere along the line and we began to think that we weren't going to be close to God unless we felt the shaking in your shoes, Holy Spirit, breath-taking, heart shaking, earth quaking, chain shattering, tears streaming, head pounding, voice losing moments. It took me a while to understand that God really does see all. And He loves those huge leaps and heart pounding moments as much, if not more, than I do. But, God also watches me when I'm falling asleep at night and He loves to just sit in the quiet of my bedroom and watch me sleep. It's in those small, quaint and quiet moments that He also smiles. So. If you believe it to be the will of God, weather it be the most nerve racking time for you ever...or it be a time where you feel that you aren't doing "anything"...live it to the hilt because that moment has come and will be gone and nobody can get it back. Have faith. He who promises is faithful and all of the promises will come to pass...You'll do His will if your heart is after Him and you are following Him but please don't go on any longer doing what I did...missing Him in the small moments because I was waiting way ahead of His timing for the big moments to come.

Gods Will... :)

I'm a Senior in High School. What does this mean? Choices. The most common question I get asked is, "What are your plans?" Now. I don't live in a family that necessarily follows the Lord so for me to say "Whatever God tells me..." just simply isn't good enough for them. This makes it hard for me and for all of those others out there who are pressured to live up to the expectations of others in our families and such. The thing is, we feel that they won't understand. If I tell my non-immediate family what I plan on doing with my life they'll support me "no matter what" as long as it matches the criteria that they set up in their mind of what it takes to be "successful". I may not make millions of dollars a year. I may not win the lottery. I may not get married until I'm forty years old and if i'm not any of these things am I then not "important" or "successful"? Not to dis on people who rock those things. Way to go. :) I'm happy for you. The thing is I don't know God's will for my life exactly because I'm not Him. If He revealed it to me right now moment for moment, at what point would I be surprised by His goodness and love? If I didn't have trials to go through and decisions to make and leaps of faith to take what on earth would I do? Would I just drift through life? I think so. So. for all of you seniors out there...or anyone for that matter...who has to make a decision that could dramatically or not dramatically alter the course of your life...have faith. God is GOOD!!! He's got it all under control. If your big decision is "What coffee will I get at starbucks today?" I have the answer. Get in your car and go to backporch. Get a White Chocolate Mocha and start your day off good with nice people and the wonderful deliciousness of amazing fresh roasted coffee. I'm glad I could help. Now for all of you who have a decision to make that's bigger than a coffee issue...lets pray about it. If you have a prayer request...just find a friend and ask them to pray for you. I promise you, if they aren't going through the same or similar situation, they have before. Seek wise council, trust God and smile BIG because He's got it all planned out and MAN I hope it's a wild ride!!!

Go, Bear, Build

Luke 14:23 And the master said to the servant, "Go out to the highways and hedges and compel people to come in, that my house may be filled."

This verse hit me today as I was reading it. It hit me in such a profound way because it was a verse hidden in the middle of a parable and speaks lightyears beyond it's intentions for the story. This was one that was hard to digest. Jesus says "Go" a lot. This parable shows us an accurate picture of what the master, God, has asked us to do. Not to go out and get the ritzy, healthy people and bring them to eat but to go and get the people who need love and perhaps, a hot meal. Those who are lost in the darkenss and the pain of the world. Those who need to be touched by God. You see...this was revelation for me because God does not live in a box. He has enough for all of us and more. Food? yeah. life? you bet. Love? So much more than we could ever need or experience. Thats His job. And he says "Go" to the highways and hedges not to give us gudelines for who to invite into His presence, but to open our minds to a thought process bigger than ours that firmly knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that all people are invited to fill this house. In a later verse it says:

Whoever does not BEAR his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? (Luke 14:27-28)

This is also profound. As we wake up every morning and get ready to go out into the world...a new day...Gods will, we have to do something...that is, take up our cross. The cross was not comfortable to carry or to hang on. It was uncomfortable to watch in "The Passion of the Christ" and it was even more uncomfortable to witness at the foot. So why? What does it mean to pick up our cross? It basically says in verse 28 that we can sit and count the cost and try to calculate the end result just right. Just enough. But is God so small that we can count His will for our life and see if it's WORTH OUR TIME? Heavens no. He's not small. He's big and He can do immeasuribly more than anything we could EVER ask or imagine. So. The question. Can we BUILD this Kingdom for God? Are we going to sit and count the cost? My vote is no because the cost was already counted. His name is Jesus Christ. If He endured the cross and carried His own, so can we because we aren't doing it alone. We have Him and His strength in us. I'm ready to jump out in faith and watch God build bridges, provide parachutes and open my heart. It's not easy because it's FAITH. (the belief in what we can't see) And it's not easy because that means I have to be less selfish and more selfLESS. It's easier because He's real. I wanna go make a difference. So off to the highways and the hedges, the roads and shelters, the schools and the colleges, the businesses and the slums, Aubry butte and Romaine Village. Here we go.